Old poems

1.Sometimes it's hard to breathe.
I forget to breathe.
I think about a shitload of things.
And there's just so many things.
My heart races.
And my brain races.
My stomach hurts and churns
Then I throw up because it churns.
I'm temppted to put my fingers down my throat.
And sometimes I just want someone to grab me by my throat.
Writing calms be down.
And writing brings me down.
Lately I've been really tense.
Smoking helps but once the cigarete burns out, I'm back to tense.

2.Waiting for him to walk by me.
Look into me and stop. Stare.
A beautiful stare.
He's not looking at my face, opr my hair.
Or my piercings, or my clothes.
He's looking into me.
Into my soul.
Beyond now, beyong everything.
He'll take my breathe away,
and when he smiles, i'll fly.
My shy wings will spread and flutter.
His spread too, and I feel whole.

3.It's almost how surreal how real this pain feels.
I can barely thing straight and I have to push my self to deal.
Broken hearted and with only time on my hands,
All I can do is clean these pots and pans.
Over and over, time after time
I clean and I think how badly I want you to be mine.
These emotions i easily hide,
and with them not visible, it's easy to get by.
omg i hate rhyming

4.