Perplexed I am

Am I the only one who felt so real about the love
we felt inside and communicated to each other
verbally and physically?
Am I the only one who felt
the heart wrenching pain when the relationship
we had was declared to be over?
Am I the only love fool who has fooled herself that
the possibility of you and me has lived on for
X amount of time?

How is it that if both you and I have felt so much
deep inside that I'm the only one
saying how badly I feel when you're not around
which is constantly because you decided for the
both of us that we're best without each other?

Why is it that every time I see a person
with your features or characteristics I hope it's you?
Or that every time I am on the train that takes me
down your route I hope that it is you walking by me?
And why is it that every time I talk about you I say
all sorts of negative things when deep down
it is you I feel I deserve?

So lastly, why is it that when I think of you and me
being once again...I have doubts?

LongLiveLove

P.S. Why can't I shed anymore tears for you even thought my heart aches to do so?