Roughly 24 hours ago I had some sort of epiphany and throughout the rest of the day I kept stumbling across realizations and was repeatedly reminded by loved ones my worth and the values of a relationship. You should be there through the good and the bad. You want "people who are there for you no matter what...no matter what"...but when it boils down to it you left me high and dry. So I've decided to let it go. My original plan was to not give up on what we had built in the past 4 years but it appears that you've let it go so why shouldn't I?
And I get it, you said we can still "talk" okay...not even be friends but you know what, I'll take it because in me I have a heart full of love for you and complete and full adoration and I could never say no to you, my love. It will take time to drain it out and possibly leave you a corner solely for friendship but you gotta do what you gotta do. I miss you, I do. You were my everyday friend, sometimes lover and inconsistent boyfriend. I was hoping that by now you would realize the mistake you enacted but maybe you need more time or maybe this is just the way it's going to be.
I secretly hope that you come back to me and we can return to the way things were but I suppose I understand if you don't. I just know I'd be there with you had this been the other way around and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. When you love and care for someone, you hold on for as long as you can until there's no other resolution. I thought that the way to resolve our problem would be to just be with you in an open relationship because I can't give you what you so badly desire but I realized that wouldn't work. I'd be sitting here wondering if she was better than me and if she'd steal you from me quicker than I was able to get you. Maybe this was a sign and maybe it is for the best. Who knows.
Either way, I know we need time apart.
"Gave up my power
and I existed for you."
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