Things just seem so much simpler then when I think back. The "then" was a time when the actions of others were temporarily excused and added onto the good times you encountered. Those actions were temporary so they eventually caught on. This was no longer a time for immaturity to over conquer responsibility or for excuses to be playfully used and seriously accepted. This was life...has been all along. The consequences of their actions could no longer sit on the back burner. Smoking some bud wasn't just smoking bud but rather a check mark in the box that asks if you've ever been convicted of a felony on that job application. Same thing goes for trespassing or fighting when caught a certain number of times.
We could all justify our wrong doings as we are doing them but when we face that chilling room in bookings or that haunting hospital room, we must wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
This isn't a wake up call to tell you that I am holier than thou because trust me, I'm not. Or to stop doing what your doing (which is what makes being young so much fun), but rather to be on point. It is about the people around you and how your actions will not only harm yourself but those around you. You may not even be the one doing the wrong doing but rather your friend however, you might be the one to catch the bullet instead of him or her, or maybe even just a simple ticket. Be on the prowl because a pig is always oinking around for a donut, and a jackass always has a stick up his ass.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
06-26-07
She silently observed as he continued to talk, her eyes gravitating towards his lips. Lips like sugar. Lips that were not only for pleasure, but reassured her at just the right moments. With him, things were different. Right then and there, the possibilities seemed endless, as they very well should.
He spoke and griped her shoulder as his excitement ripled and his story got more and more intense. She licked her lips and laughed loudly as she sat opposite the one who gave her confidence. He was that one. Coming from any- and every- one else it wouldn't matter but he held the force field over her head. This force field gave her the nudge she needed because others before him made her lack it.
She kissed the hand that still sat on her shoulder and then broke free by laying down on his bed where they had been sitting. He followed and layed down next ti her, holding his head up by his hand as his arms and head created a triangle. He continued to talk and she seized th back of his head and ran her fingers through his long thick hair. It was hard to put into words how incredibly intense he made her feel. How much of a woman she felt when she was reminded that he wanted her. Before him, she was an amazon woman fighting the demoralizing battles of the world she lived in. No man ever treated her as she should have been treated...except for him. Of this she was fully aware. She knew that this was what she had been looking for all along. She knew, so then why the hesitation in her mind?
He spoke and griped her shoulder as his excitement ripled and his story got more and more intense. She licked her lips and laughed loudly as she sat opposite the one who gave her confidence. He was that one. Coming from any- and every- one else it wouldn't matter but he held the force field over her head. This force field gave her the nudge she needed because others before him made her lack it.
She kissed the hand that still sat on her shoulder and then broke free by laying down on his bed where they had been sitting. He followed and layed down next ti her, holding his head up by his hand as his arms and head created a triangle. He continued to talk and she seized th back of his head and ran her fingers through his long thick hair. It was hard to put into words how incredibly intense he made her feel. How much of a woman she felt when she was reminded that he wanted her. Before him, she was an amazon woman fighting the demoralizing battles of the world she lived in. No man ever treated her as she should have been treated...except for him. Of this she was fully aware. She knew that this was what she had been looking for all along. She knew, so then why the hesitation in her mind?
Old..
So i was cleaning out my room and I found my folder and inside i had written a poem.
Trapped in two worlds.
A humble abyss that we've created together
and the reality of our distance.
In our world we happily live and love
while in reality i simply wander and get by.
How could I combine the two
if the extremities we've reached
in no way coincide?
I want to make you happy,
but reality won't let me.
Trapped in two worlds.
A humble abyss that we've created together
and the reality of our distance.
In our world we happily live and love
while in reality i simply wander and get by.
How could I combine the two
if the extremities we've reached
in no way coincide?
I want to make you happy,
but reality won't let me.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Then
Things just seem so much simpler then when I think back. The "then" was a time when the actions of others were temporarily excused and added onto the good times she encountered. Those actions were temporary so they eventually caught on. This was no longer a time for immaturity to over conquer responsibility or for excuses to be playfully used and seriously accepted. This was life...all along. The consequences of their actions could no longer sit on the back burner. Smoking some bud wasn't just smoking bud but rather a check mark in the box that asks if you've ever been convicted of a felony on that job application. Same thing goes for trespassing or fighting when caught a certain number of times.
We could all justify our wrong doings as we are doing them but when we face that chilling room in bookings or that haunting hospital room, we must wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
This isn't a wake up call to tell you to stop doing what your doing (which is what makes being young so much fun), but rather to be on point. It is about the people around you and how your actions will not only harm yourself but those around you. Be on the prowl because a pig is always oinking around for a donut, and a jackass always has a stick up his ass.
We could all justify our wrong doings as we are doing them but when we face that chilling room in bookings or that haunting hospital room, we must wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
This isn't a wake up call to tell you to stop doing what your doing (which is what makes being young so much fun), but rather to be on point. It is about the people around you and how your actions will not only harm yourself but those around you. Be on the prowl because a pig is always oinking around for a donut, and a jackass always has a stick up his ass.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
6/30 4:00am
Her efforts were futile. As friends, they were close. Randomly at 2:30 in morning he would lay all his problems on her and she was quick to solve them. She was a momma bear, she could never say no nor would she want to. One day the boundaries were crossed...and then the next week, and for two more weeks after that.
The feelings she had once felt for him those X years before resurfaced and she found herself back at square one, wanting him after he no longer wanted her. With due time things seemed to return to normalcy and what had happened between them remained in the memory palace of drunken escapades. The time arrived when he was now in a dark place. Trying to find outlets in writing and working, she saw as everything that had always been difficult around him become even tougher. She wanted to help him, help him find his way to a place where no distractions could penetrate or evil mothers could persist; her heart. This she knew couldn't be again. She would not be the fool who fell for her best friend again.
She abandoned hope for a bright bright consensual romantic future, but she did finally accept him as the best friend she always knew she had by her. She was going to stick around and use her nurturing ways to help him get through his pains and collisions...as his friend.
The feelings she had once felt for him those X years before resurfaced and she found herself back at square one, wanting him after he no longer wanted her. With due time things seemed to return to normalcy and what had happened between them remained in the memory palace of drunken escapades. The time arrived when he was now in a dark place. Trying to find outlets in writing and working, she saw as everything that had always been difficult around him become even tougher. She wanted to help him, help him find his way to a place where no distractions could penetrate or evil mothers could persist; her heart. This she knew couldn't be again. She would not be the fool who fell for her best friend again.
She abandoned hope for a bright bright consensual romantic future, but she did finally accept him as the best friend she always knew she had by her. She was going to stick around and use her nurturing ways to help him get through his pains and collisions...as his friend.
6/30 3:45am
As much as they tried to resist, it had already happened. The feelings were sinking in and the rush of reality was taking them for the ride. Words that they had once said seemed to disappear into extremities that were no longer within their reach. "Let's take things slow," had almost been words that were part of a joke. A few days later they still tried to hold onto them but they were surely gone from their grip, no matter how hard they reached.
So now it was time to face the truth and come to terms with what was to become of them. Yes, things were evolving quickly. Quicker than expected, but they were still in the primary stages when taking a few steps back might actually be effective. However, who really wanted that? He wanted to love and she wanted to be loved. And vice versa of course. Of course, otherwise they wouldn't be in their predicament. Daydreaming of the future (honestly, just a few weeks ahead), they both saw themselves in it along with each other; frolics and sugar kisses all inclusive.
That however, was too far down the line to even be considered! What's really at stake is the how and the now. Everything else would surely work itself out. Surely.
So now it was time to face the truth and come to terms with what was to become of them. Yes, things were evolving quickly. Quicker than expected, but they were still in the primary stages when taking a few steps back might actually be effective. However, who really wanted that? He wanted to love and she wanted to be loved. And vice versa of course. Of course, otherwise they wouldn't be in their predicament. Daydreaming of the future (honestly, just a few weeks ahead), they both saw themselves in it along with each other; frolics and sugar kisses all inclusive.
That however, was too far down the line to even be considered! What's really at stake is the how and the now. Everything else would surely work itself out. Surely.
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