She sat in the silence surrounding her on the outside while inside she felt like a loud speaker was on. The feelings and thoughts persisted, resisting from settling. She wondered if others around her felt as unsettled by their insides as she did. There was the drinking and smoking that made her insides feel alien and rotten from time to time. The conflicts between her family was out of her control. It pained her but then again it's not like she was making the situation any better by not being there. Next was the unstoppable feeling to please her bosses. How could she say no when she knew they were depending on their only employee who knew the ropes. As a result of this she had a mountain of work piling up from school. Articles unread and bare sentences that screamed to be highlighted.
As she ran through the thoughts that were constantly nagging her, a deep dark pressure began to build in her chest. As hard as water pressing up against a dam anxious to break. A slow hysteria ran across her eyes, for anyone passing by to see, as she realized that all of her problems were of her own creation. That it was she who had lost control and not that too much had been placed on her.
She sat in the class that no one spoke in which made her feel like it was okay to write a to-do-list of the monsters she needed to tackle.
07/29/09
No comments:
Post a Comment