Asphyxiation

I had a great fear today that you were gone. Not the kind of gone I've feared before. Not the kind of gone where you withdraw your fill from my vessel, but really gone. Taken from me against your will and pained by cold blooded hands. I checked for your response throughout the night until the early morning. I need to calm down. When I was finally really awake I sat on my bed and stared straight ahead. Hysteria ran through me as I sat still without an inch of me moving. A black....something....began to devour my chest. It was slowly creeping over my lungs as my heart was struggling to be free. It almost surrendered. I saw myself crying hysterically over hypothetical awful situations where you lay dead. I felt myself sweating and shaking, my temperature high and my body actually unmoved, as i sweated and shook. This pessimistic fear consumes me in my silence and in my most logical moments.